Honestly, I am so happy we are done. I’m not going to forget what we had. I will always love him but those feelings are in a little box in the back of my mind for now. Seeing everything you said about me is making me realize what a good choice i actually made. Everything got way out of hand on both our sides but everything happens for a reason right? Now we can finally go our seperate ways. Everything was just a lesson that we’ve learned and we’ll be able to treat our next lovers even better because we know what not to do. Now that all the pointless arguments are all offically done and over with i can finally say that i am happy. 

Oh man I have such a soft spot for cute spanish boys, expecially colombians and puerto ricans.

Tomorrow you’ll be back. We’ll be talking on the phone hopefully. And 4 days after that I will be seeing you. Oh my goodness. I can’t. Ahhhh I’m so excited.

Now that I realize it, there is literally nothing I love more than making people happy. I love doing the littlest things, helping people out, giving advice, and complimenting them. I’m going to start spreading the positivity and decreasing the negativity in my life.

Being woken up by being called beautiful is always lovely. There is just something about you that gives me crazy butterflies in my tummy. It’s just a huge rush in me and I love it. I cannot wait to see you. I really can’t. It’s going to be amazing and I’m absolutely looking forward to the moment i’ll finally be able to be in your arms. And surprise you with a kiss. Haha ohhh I can’t wait.

I miss my best friend. I am longing for his presence. This is taking way too long, but we will then be able to talk and text each other all day as soon as you come back. And I’m praying that I will be able to see you and hug the guy that has blown my mind! I just want to hang out with him before the summer ends. My summer is starting just as it’s coming to an end, sucks.

I’m single yet I’m not. My heart belongs to you and no one else. I cannot wait until we are officially together again. This time will be good for us and because we dont have the label yet it will help us to get our minds straight. I will always love him no matter what.

I am fucking stupid. I don’t even care anymore I hate the feeling of being replaced expecially by that stupid cunt. I will change. I’ve done so much thinking these past 3 hours. I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life. It’s true, you dont know what you have until it’s gone.

I can’t believed I relapsed today. I broke after 4 months. It seems to be the longest, I can never beat it. I just couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was recklessly wandering to all different sorts of different chains of events. And suddently it hit me and I was so overpowered by the tourtering thoughts that I broke down. I am so upset with myself. The cutting helped take away the mental pain if only for a few moments. It stings. Its all coming back to me. If I was an elephant I would be dead right now. I like sleeping its like death but without the commitment. I want to die but I want to live. I
am
confused.

August 22, at approximately, 12:15 a.m you made the promise. If we’re not married by 25 we’re marrying each other. Dont forget.